About failing

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That's it, leaving Beijing. For good. Not the way I thought I will but because of the pollution of the air, the water and the food.

Before we moved here, I thought I can live anywhere in this world and adapt everywhere. Truth is I can't.

Especially when it comes to taking a risk for the health of my baby.

Radical decision. As I coach, I know what that means. But how radical a radical decision can be? I know that mine has a huge impact on the people around me, starting with me. I know that the next steps won't be easy but I also know that sometimes we need to take our courage in our hands and follow our instinct. No compromises. No time to burry our head in the sand. We need to take action. Be brave.

Let's face it. It's a defeat. Leaving because I can't live in this city anymore with my baby. No matter how much I tried. It can sound like a failure. Failing to adjust, to adapt, to ignore, to accept.

So maybe I failed.

But maybe not.

Maybe I have learned that as a mother I put the health and the safety of my child before my own goals and choices. Maybe I have learned what are my limits and what I can't compromise. 

So here I am packing again. This time, when I will open the suitcases I will hear the birds around me, smell the rain and see the trees. I will put my luggage down and take my daughter to a walk through the fields and the forest. We will stop, touch the ground, breath into it. 

Reconnect with the breath of life, that's it...

 

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